Did I start my diet today? No. It was my friend’s birthday and there were sweets at work. You have to understand, she is a really good baker and she made chocolate cupcakes with nutella frosting and homemade marshmallow. I had two, they were soooo good! I didn’t even have room to eat lunch. After all the eating I did yesterday, I hardly even had room for breakfast! I started out my day with overnight oats and coffee. It’s my usual. I’ll make an effort to share how I make mine in a post coming up. But like I said, I barely had an appetite this morning.
So I guess I should explain what I mean when I say “I’m going to start my diet.” I’m actually not exactly sure. I know it wouldn’t include skipping lunch and eating two cupcakes. I also had a chocolate macaroon after dinner. I bought some for my friend’s birthday and I bought extra for myself. Big mistake. I got two and both were so super sweet. They made my tummy hurt. I regretted eating it instantly. I guess that’s a good place to start my “diet”: not to eat anything I could feel guilty about.
Real talk: I don’t know if I can consume anything and not feel guilty about it. Minus raw veggies and water. I’ve always felt very ashamed of my body and (almost) every time I eat I think “this is why you look like you do.” Does anyone else feel this why too? I really want to make an effort to eat things that make me feel good. I don’t like feeling negative about my body. I want to make it strong and beautiful.
I’m sure everyone who starts a new diet knows the struggle of having to clean out all the crap in their fridge first. Mine is still filled with Cinco de Mayo goodies. Mostly margaritas but I’ve also been making quesadilla’s on the regular for a solid week now. I don’t want to say “I’ll start next week” again because it’s starting to be never ending, er, never beginning.
I did do one positive thing today: I went to the rec center right after work. I walked on the treadmill for an hour and then the elliptical for a 1/2 hour. I like to go at a comfortable pace so I can read. I always hear that if you can read while you’re doing what you’re doing, then you’re not working hard enough. Oh well, at least I’m trying. I started reading the “Dorothy Must Die” series. It’s too soon to tell how I feel about it, but I love the Wizard of Oz so I can’t wait to dig in deeper. More trips to the gym = more time reading. Right? Right.